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He is simply my whole world! [entries|friends|calendar]
I FUCKING LOVE HIM

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(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

[27 Sep 2007|12:41pm]
ok well.....its not the f-350 which im so happy about...instead he will be home soon with a new nissan titan 4x4...OMG SWEET!

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

[26 Sep 2007|12:28am]
I could watch the movie jarhead everyday.....and sometimes i do.....its sick!

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

[06 Sep 2007|04:01pm]
My mind keeps wondering to you. Which makes me guilty of what I have been so afraid of all along.

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

bummer [28 Aug 2007|09:40am]
Heath found out yesterday he might have to go to denver for work for a week. This morning he's on his way home to pack his things and leave until sometimes this weekend. I HATE HIS JOB! both of them cause they take him away from me way to much. He said last night that I'm not supposed to worry about things that its his job to worry. He's insane! Oh well though I guess at least I have a car now and don't have to worry about getting to work while he's gone. Gas in the car is another issue....i have lil over half a tank to last me until friday when i get paid. booo!

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

10 reasons to love a solider... [24 Aug 2007|12:03pm]
10.Camo goes with everything.
9. Gifts from exotic places
8. They never get lost.
7. A man who knows how to iron.
6. Loves your cooking.
5. Big boys with Big guns never miss.
4. Love letter in the mail. (more like in texts for me)
3. Hard bodies soft kisses
2. UNIFORM UNIFORM UNIFORM!!!!
1. Proud and strong, all night long

How cute is that haha.









This last one is my fav. Heath and I saw a girl driving with a license plate frame that said army wife and started talking about this stuff.....i want the one that says my other ride wears combat boots for the back window on my car!!!!! How cute would that be.... i think i'll do it!

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

love it! [17 Aug 2007|11:55am]
She’s going out to forget they were together

All that time he was taking her for granted

She wants to see if there’s more

than he gave she’s looking for



He calls her up

He’s trippin on the phone now

He doesn’t want her out there

And alone now

He knows she’s movin it

Knows she’s using it

Now he’s losing it

She don’t care



Everybody put up your hands

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

to the beat now

If you’ve got nothing left

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

Back it up now

You’ve got a reason to live

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

Feelin' good now

Don’t be afraid to get down

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love



He was always giving her attention

Looking hard to find the things she mentioned

He was dedicated

But most suckers hate it

That girl was fine

But she didn’t appreciate him



She calls him up

She’s tripping on the phone now

He had to get up

And he ain’t comin home now

He’s tryin to forget her

That’s how we come with him

When he first met her

When they first got together



Everybody put up your hands

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love



to the beat now

If you got nothing left

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

Back it up now

You got a reason to live

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

Feelin' good now

Don’t be afraid to get down

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love



To the beat (x3)

You got nothing to lose

Don’t be afraid to get down



We break up

It’s something that we do now

Everyone has got to do it sometime

It’s okay, let it go

Get out there and find someone



It’s too late to be trippin' on the phone here

Get off the wire

You know everything is good here

Stop what you’re doin'

You don’t wanna ruin

The chance that you got to

find a new one



Everybody put up your hands

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

to the beat now

If you got nothing left

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be alone

Back it up now

You got a reason to live

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love

Feelin' good now

Don’t be afraid to get down

Say I don’t wanna be in love

I don’t wanna be in love



Now you know what to do, so come on feelin' good

(1 Wake the ones and rise tonight | Fallen souls we shine so bright)

a busy life [27 Jul 2007|01:29pm]
These past 2 months have been so busy everytime I turn around we have to do this or go here so sign that. I'm calling all over the city looking for movers and carpet cleaners, We have however resolved to do it all ourselves so tonight when we get off work were going to rent the carpent cleaner and clean the carpets in our whole house ourselves...this is going to suck!!!! Were also not hiring movers anymore which mean we have to move everything from our 3rd floor apartment.....I am however so happy about not having to go up and down 3 flights of stairs anymore and if we ever deside to get another apartment...first floor all the way. So anyways monday we finished the lease for the house and obviously were in the process of moving now. here are some pic I took on our first walk through.



from the front door

from the livingroom

the kitchen


the loft just outside our master bedroom


I HAVE MY OWN HOUSE OMG I"M FREAKING OUT!

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

random [19 Jul 2007|10:24am]



I was bored this morning and wide awak....but he didnt get much sleep and had his arms round me so i didnt want to move much....but i had my phone in bed with me....he's so cute.











This is MY boyfriend...i love him very much...these others girls that are trying to get back togther with him....why they are even trying when niether one of them live even close to nevada and thats where we live and just got a house at...stupid bitches....always want what they used to have. I'm trying my best not to worry which until now has been very hard.....i just need to trust him and what he says. I'm the one he sleeps with everynight.....if I even act the slighest bit sad or down he's right by my side asking me whats wrong and trying to make me smile....i'm the one he got a house for, I'm the one he's always trying hand money (even though I never take it.)....i'm the one here now....so aslong as I am here...I need to not worry about the girls that aren't here....however i want to throw his cell phone off a bridge!!!!!!!!!!!

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

its funny [18 Jul 2007|02:04pm]
how people say actions speak louder then words.....until it comes a time when thats whats going on and the words just ring in your ears......is it true? Is that a real statement....Do actions speak louder then words???? An if so will the words every go away...

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

the ringtone on his phone [13 Jul 2007|03:27pm]
so a couple days ago he plays this song he had recorded on his phone cause he said it reminded him of me. I don't really like the song, but i guess its cute it plays everytime his phone rings. His ringtone on my phone is umbrella...i think mines better.


(2 Wake the ones and rise tonight | Fallen souls we shine so bright)

thurmb wrestling in bed..... [13 Jul 2007|03:07pm]
song I can't stop listening to...
marilyn manson-if i was your vampire
x-tina-nasty naught boy
maroon 5-makes me wonder
la rissa-i do both jay and jane
timbaland-the way i are
flyleaf-all around me
down aka kilo-lean like a cholo
the streets-blinded by the lights (this ones thrown me for a loop)
say it sooner-the almost

i love my ipod

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

another day...... [12 Jul 2007|11:21am]
Heath got way busy at work around 6 so I had to wait until almost 8 for him to pick me up from work. I never care though cause I work nextdoor to a bar and I just go over and have a few beers and wait for him. Last night this guy marvin that I know at the bar bought me a few beers and a shot so by the time he picked my up I was laughin my ass off drunk. We went to the store and got some beer and laundry soap. Then to taco bell to grab dinner. The plan was to go home eat and take some beers down stairs and relax in the hot tub, but by the time we got home it was9 and we were to tired. After we ate I turned on harry potter (he hates it) well he just go on his phone and then I got on my phone to michelle and I went outside for a fast bowl and a cig. Then i just walked around the house talking to michelle for awhile and he just sat on the phone with andrew its funny everytime he's on the phone with a guy from work he says "bro" so much. So anyways then we went to sleep and he kept asking me if I was ok and If i was happy. So i had to break down and tell him sorry for ever letting him think he makes me anything less then happy. Then we started talking about what were going to do with the house and how were going to decorate it. He says that will be my job since I love shopping so much, besides we go to home stores and look at stuff all the time, but now we have a whole house to put it in. An I have been saying I want a cat for christmas for awhile now and he said only if its a cool cat like a bangle which shit I don't care he's buying it. Now he says we should get 2 so they can play...who knows hes crazy I just want to go adopt a kitten cause thats the right thing to do. Oh well though he seems to like the idea of spending $800 on a cat let alone 2. I think thats a waste so money. I hope we got home early enough to actually relax I hate going home straight to sleep then beck to work.

(1 Wake the ones and rise tonight | Fallen souls we shine so bright)

i haven't eatin in 3days...... [11 Jul 2007|12:22pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So things this past week have not been good and its been by far the bigest test we have ever had in our relationship. He came home last tuesday and on wednesday morning I woke up early with cramps so I got up and went on the porch for a bowl and a cig. Well on the way for some reason I got the urge to look at his phone which I had never done before....and sure as fucking hell what do I find, but a bunch of text from his ex casandra about how much she misses him, loves him, wants to make love to him and other shit. So i check what he was saying to her and there was nothing in there really just bland yup and ok's. So this weekend he worked atleast 15hours both days and she was still doing it cause I would grab his phone when he wasn't looking and check....telling him he needs to choose between us and shit and how she can't stand the thought of him with another women. All I could think was "new flash bitch we have been togther for 7 months" So anyways he knew something was wrong cause were both very affectionate and are glued to eachother constantly and I would sit on the otherside of the couch or flinch when he would try to kiss me. So 2 nights ago we were laying in bed and I finally was like look I saw the texts in your phone and she has pictures of him all over her myspace like he's still her boyfriend. Anyways we talked about it and he said to just ignore it that shes justtrying to mess with me and that she knows all about us because his little 14yo sister still talks to her on myspace.....and then last night during dinner (since I'm still not eating) I went for a walk and called michelle and got some advice....well went we went to bed last night I started asking him about what if we broke up and what would happen with our house and such.......well this morning he called me just to tell me not to worry about her anymore that she wont be bothering us because he called her and told her to stop. He's not getting back with her and told her also not to talk to his little sister anymore. Soooooo I'm very happy the last thing I wanted to do was break up with him over her and me not being able to handle her harrassment. Thank goodness she lives in new mexico or this would have been much worse. Anyways bekki deleted her for me so I can't go peak on her page anymore cause I figure its better that way...and no matter how much I want to I'm not going to sneak on his phone anymore. I'm looking forward to our trip to cali this weekend. I've gotten so used to driving out there once a month its fun. Also I can't wait to move into our new house. When we went on our first date I never ever thought that 7months down the line we would have a house togther who fucking new.

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

could it be a fresh start........ [10 Jul 2007|01:35pm]
I am no longer going to let her affect me....sheto far away and shes in the past. There are only 2 people in this relationship and thats me and heath....putting your full trust in someone is so much harder then I ever thought it would be, but I love him so I have to try my hardest. Anyways we went and filled out the papers for the house we should know tomorrow or thursday and we will be moving in not the weekend cause he has army drill we will be in cali so next weekend we will be in our new house. I have never had my own house my parents never even had a house....and now I am moving into one with the man I love........I'm going to forget about the shit to this point and just be happy.....I should be ok just being happy....not everything has to be so complicated...no wonder he says that....I hope this doesn't become something I regret. Anyways heres some pics....








(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

how can you sleep with one...and say i love you to another [10 Jul 2007|10:20am]
I found a house were going to sign the papers today....moving in 2 weeks from now.....he said that I should never think that there anything in the world more important than me. I still feel like shit.....im still very sad.....I've been driving my car to work lately even though im not allowed to yet....i still love my car and only do it when i have to cause I dont want to get in trouble....and until i actually have my license (in august) its still heath car, but oh well i'm the only one driving it.

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

..... [05 Jul 2007|12:57pm]
so he came home tuesday night and yesterday was a good day we spent the whole day togther shopping and drinking....although i should stop being so nosy......and he should stop talking to his ex...even if he's just trying to be nice he should stop....

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

present [29 Jun 2007|04:48pm]
he bought me a mood ring....as like a warning system....the ring doesn't seem to be working.....but i still love it. Also he found out today he has to be on the base in cali by 9am tomorrow morning...until tuesday....I am very sad....I might call in sick monday!!! The crazy lady in the office has been hacking her brains out so i'll just say I cought her cold.....hahahahaha LOVE IT!

(1 Wake the ones and rise tonight | Fallen souls we shine so bright)

something to try..... [27 Jun 2007|10:12am]
so i was laying on the couch with heath last night reading cosmo mag.....and i read this thing were a girl wrote in about how she was with a guy that had been in serious relationships before and had been in love, but he was her first love.....and she was upset by that. well what cosmo said was that guys learn from every relationship and look for better everytime and that she shouldnt worry about who he loved in the past because she was the one he loved now and that its more important to worry about the present then to dwell on the past that you can't change. I'm going to try my hardest to not dwell on his past and live in the now. Also moving might have been moved back to feb of 08 because of some lease problems with our apartment.....but were trying to work it out if we can.

(Fallen souls we shine so bright)

this must be a taste of heaven...... [21 Jun 2007|03:51pm]
So last night I got home before him (my poor baby working 15 hour days all week so we can go camping this weekend) So when I got home I cooked dinner and showered and dinner was ready just in time for when he got home. I never thought I would be happy just working and going home making dinner and spending the night at home watching t.v., but theres nothing else I would rather do at this point. Tonight I'll be home before him too so I'm making chicken and mashed potatos w/gravy. Last night he told me I'm the most important thing in the world to him........i love him more then words can express....simply saying I love you just doesn't even seem to do it.

(1 Wake the ones and rise tonight | Fallen souls we shine so bright)

boooooooooo [20 Jun 2007|08:25am]
Lat night he picked me up from work and took me home. He dropped me off and went right back to work. Mel came over again and we hung out and ate some dinner. He got home around 10:30 and I had his dinner all ready for him when he got home. Once he ate we layed on the couch and talked for awhile. He asked me what everyone thought about me moving away with him. I told him that everyones ok with it now. Then had to explain what I ment by "now" cause mel was pretty upset about it when I first told her to the point that she said she couldn't even talk to me and we had to get off the phone. He got upset and sat up saying he just doesn't understand why they don't like him and I told him that her being upset about it has nothing to do with not liking him. Cause everyone does like him alot. However I did tell him that some felt that we are movin abit fast. He said that by the time we move we will have beeen togther for a year "i'll be sending you a message bekki cause i have a big problem with that statement" Anyways I told him everything is fine now and with us moving in togther alot of things are changing. Besides what my friends think is in no way going to change the fact that I love him and only want to be with him. Anyways once I calmed him down we went to sleep. He might have to work late again tonight cause he's trying to get everything done so that he can have the weekend off so that we can go camping this weekend. Yes I want to go camping, but at the sametime I hate that he's working so many hours and he's always so tired I just want him to come home with me and cuddle not go back to work. Anyways thats all for now I guess.

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